the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Friday, September 14

Here, We Are




Next to you, we stand.

Sharing the same breath
as we watched how the walls you built
could not withstand Death
Never enough, I feel your guilt

It’s family, I know
You forget we’re your family, too.

You showed me patience
and how to believe, in myself
You taught us kindness
how unconditional love is true wealth

So for you, we give.

Because you are who
you are, my one and only
Dad, why…why still so blue?
Up there, it must get lonely

On that pedestal
come down, be with us again…please.

Don’t believe that shit
that men should never cry
Past haunting, past time to let go of it
Living, yet letting parts of yourself die

See in you, we love.

Waiting for you, to really see
the ones in the breathing here
let go, the poisoned branch of our family tree
Even with all our flaws and fear

That make us slip and fall
Jack had no fear or shame in the dignity of his experience.

Yes, we see your brother’s greed
You give, swallowing their dirt
And, oh! How your sisters’ disrespect makes you bleed
Feeling ashamed, betrayed…hurt

But of you, we need.

You may regret the past life
I regret waiting so damn long to do
this: to say how much you’ve neglected your wife
how your daughter is growing up without you

You regret what could’ve been, then
what of…now?

Say to you, we tried.

Your fear of committing the same mistake
Too hesitant, too blinded by guilt-ridden grief
to see what you’re doing, to see what’s at stake
These glimpses of you are much too brief

Where have you gone, daddy?
Here, but not—it’s worse than I could’ve thought.

You were never on your own
You think we’ve no clue
but we do, and you need not shoulder this alone
We’re here for you, with you

And proud of you,
Believe me, I know grandpa would be, too.
_____________________________________________________
Thanks Kymerean for giving me this poem challenge. With an inclination to be verbose, I rarely write poems...so this was quite the adventure and unexpected rollercoaster of emotions. And, much thanks to my awesome-slash-excellent English major friend for her expert opinion and constructive criticism [PS: the Kerouac line is actually a kudos to you ;) ].

11 Musing(s):

Rolando said...

What a nice but sad poem Joanne.

I'd give you a hug if I were near.

david said...

I don't like to hold back tears. Very touching poem.

Sarcasm Abounds said...

Very moving.

SA

from 9/12/2007 on...this is me said...

this one is a truly heart felt poem. there is sorrow but at the same time joanne i am also reading about something very beautiful. your relationship with your family. i think all families have that beautiful side intermingled with the sometimes devastating sorrow. your poem did an excellent verse to portray just that.

beautiful poem joanne,
i am very impressed

xtina said...

I don't know why but the poem was exceptionally good when I read it again this morning. Must be one of those things I have to reread to truly appreciate. That or I'm just more awake this time around.

dnordstrom said...

Beautiful. Personal. You reached out and touched my heart. But then again, you always do.

Thank you for being all that you are and giving so much.

Magari said...

Men must have pride for there to ever be a family to protect.

Honor your father, but dont assume his pride.

You feel for him, and he knows you care, but a man must have his pride.

Moderation is the key.

Brent said...

Beautiful :) feels like a song.

Joanne said...

Rolando: Thanks for the hug ;)

David, SA : Thank you, both!

This is me: Thanks for seeing that, my family is very important to me.

Vy: lols! I think it’s probably a combination of both. Oh, and I read a poem Kath wrote for her class, when am I gonna read one from you?? =P

Daniel: Aw, you’re very welcome. I think writing this poem was really good for my own heart as well. I cried when I wrote it.

Magari: Well, we do honor him…we love him. That doesn’t change the fact that he has a lot of pride, it’s who he is and we know that’s not going to change. Moderation is important, but so is tough love.

Brent: Aww, thanks. Maybe that has something to do with all the songs I was listening to while writing it. =)

Kymerean said...

Sorry I couldn't comment sooner. You have written a very touching poem. I found the beauty in sadness, and the line about men crying is most accurate. Real men shed tears, as I did when reading this. Thank you Joanne for taking part in the challenge.

Kymerean

mikkers said...

great poem! I am so glad that Katherine was able to help in editing it :) she absolutely thrilled me with her use of the word "enjambment" though it makes me think of crushing my thumb in a door...


IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH HELL, KEEP GOING.
Winston Churchill