the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Friday, October 12

Gender Roles Be Damned

I've always loved killing (free or not is entirely beside the point) time with personality quizzes.

It's an addiction and a fact.

So you know, I figured because Dan, Meleah, and Ann have chosen blog quizzes to highlight, it was My Turn to spotlight one...




You Are 28% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.


Whoa, whoa...that's higher percentage than I expected, suh-weet.

But I am really annoyed with the last line,"Gender roles be damned, you like to do things your way." For it implies that having your own opinion or taking matters into your own hands are exclusively male characteristics.

That's sooooo 50 yrs ago!

It's heartening to see how certain traditional masculine traits have progressed to be attractive feminine traits as well. Hell yeah, I intend to be self-sufficient, financially independent, competitive (and yes, smack talk should be everyone's second nature), individualistic, and daring to defend my own beliefs.

I wouldn't want a man who expected any less OF me.

But if gender roles are dictated by societal expectations...well, Blogthings is damning the wrong perceptions. A more modern consideration would be to ask, how many typically feminine traits are thought to be attractive in a guy?

See, if it's considered a compliment for "a girl to be one of the guys," then why is it an insult for "a guy to be one of the girls"?

I personally appreciate that there are guys like Tyler in this world who can remain completely unfazed when 4 girls in a sappy-tearful-Becoming Jane-induced state come a'knocking, seeking the comfort of his big bear hugs but particularly the use of his fondue pot to dip things in chocolate with...

Yes, the guy owns a fondue pot AND has roommates who stock chai-green tea in their cupboard.

But back to the discussion of double standards.

If a person has an equal mix of male and female characteristics, he/she is considered androgynous...and is that so taboo?

I think not.

I believe it's a beneficial characteristic to encourage, to cultivate...in ourselves. To me, having an androgynous mind suggests a more open mind. It doesn't change a person's sex or sexual orientation. It only serves to expand the repertoire of how a person can think or behave.

So with all the unpredictability of Life, how can that be undesirable?

Adaptability is key to being laidback, Buddhist or not. And, breaking rules is such a satisfying way to live.

...because knowing you can surpass imposed limits is something like pure bliss.

Gender roles be damned, indeed.

29 Musing(s):

dcr said...

Ha! This is the response I got: "Um... you're a guy, right?"

:-)

According to it, I was 12% girly. I blame the kittens.

Magari said...

Dusty seems a little hurt...


Anyways, yeah I scored a 12% too.

only checked 3 items. good to know im a guy in someone else's eyes.

On another not, I keep reading about women complaining about the gender roles. Now im a guy and personally am on your side.

HOWEVER, just like the poor african americans in this sadistic country. Complaining gets you nowhere. I am not saying you shouldnt fight for your rights, but what you should really be doing is accepting the change.

These roles are changing. You, I, and Dusty know it. Everyone knows it, thats why everyones up in arms!

Now accept it and move on. You are no longer the 50's housewife. Stop complaining.

No I take that back, keep complaining. You will scare away a lot of potential boyfriends.

We know the roles are changing and are accepting it. You, I, and even Dusty are of the new age! If you keep complaining you will bore us.

I dont want a girlfriend who will constantly assume everyone views her in a certain light or thinks people expect certain things of her.

Be your own person. To me that means rising above this hypocritical bullshit.

Lisa said...

I got the exact same thing - 28%. Here's to screwing gender roles.

xtina said...

Well according to that quiz... I'M GIRLIER THAN YOU! So you know it must be accurate. *rolls eyes*

Is being one of the guys really a compliment though?

meleah rebeccah said...

You Are 44% Girly
You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

Yeay! Look at me deifying gender

peteej said...

Uh, did I miss something?

Oh and I got the same answer as DCR.

Joanne said...

[Dusty: No offense and no hard feelings, but I have deleted your comments as they don’t add to the discussion and in instead causes confusion due to being off-topic. If you want to leave a comment in response to this post or the content of other commentators, by all means…do.]

Dan: Hahaha! Nooo, don’t blame cute kittens!

Magari: Hm… I didn’t realize what I was saying could be taken for complaining. You see, my “why” questions were only to provoke thoughts on the inconsistencies I noticed. I find the paradoxes of human nature interesting discussion, especially since (as you said as well), times are (and are always) changing. It’s not enough for me to simply accept change…it’s astonishing how many things can be taken for granted if only taken at face-value. I want to know the causes and effects of the changes happening; I want to be a part of it.

Lisa: Haha, yup! And, here’s to transforming how we view gender roles.

Vy: Ah, haha actually I’m not surprised. =P Who introduced me to eye-lash curlers, hair-straighteners, and tweezers? I think being able to be one of the guys is more likely to be perceived as a compliment by others. I personally would take it as a compliment (as when I get it that’s usually what it’s meant for), but yeeeah…in another situation it could potentially be meant as an insult, too.

Pete: I’m asking the same question to myself… Haha, so if you got the same answer as Dan…does that mean you own kittens as well? ;)

david said...

I'm 0% girly so does that mean I'm the manliest man around here =)!

Jorge said...

Come on people! Don´t forget that gender and sex are not the same.

♥Shabem®♥ said...

Hi thanks for adding me in your blogroll really appreciated. I will link you up too!
Anyway,here's my result for the blogthingy.
44% Girly!
You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.
You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

mcgee said...

this is a great post. i got the exact same score...28%

all i have to say is: word.

elysa said...

apparently I win the prize of most girly

"You Are 76% Girly: You're a pretty girly chick, and you're not ashamed to admit it (or wear pink).
But you're also practical. You can hang with the guys, as long as they're not too gross!"

Apparently being girly means that you don't like guys. I think a 13 year old wrote this.

Holly said...

I couldn't help it, I took the quiz. Turns out I'm 16% girly and got this:

Um... you're a guy, right? If not, you're the most boyish girl in the world.
And for you, that's probably the ultimate compliment.

And yeah, I'm having the same problem with it as you did.

H,T,M,&A said...

I come from a few generations of just girls on one side of the family, so don't get me started on this subject!

Thanks for saying hi. It was nice to be introduced to your writing; you express yourself very well!

Stealth said...

I'm 8% girly. I am surprised I'm THAT girly.

Bobby said...

I have this little guy/man theory. A guy is one who is afraid to embrace his feminine traits. A guy would be embarrassed to be anything but a brawny manly man (in his own eyes).

A guy will be sensitive with his woman if he has to. He will treat his woman differently at home than he does in front of his beer buddies, etc.

A guy is NOT a man. A guy is a little boy in an adults body.

A man fully embraces himself and all that he is. He treats his woman the same at all times and is proud of it!

LOL!!!!!!! I hope you like my little theory:)

rinchen said...

40% girly! Gender roles be damned to hell :D

BURAOT said...

Darn! Why do I have to take that quiz? I was 52% girly.

"You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.
You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines."

Wahahaha!

conan_cat said...

oh yeah, i'm all thumbs up for androgyny. i once wrote a blog post about me being androgenous, and i'm real darn proud of it haha. i think gender roles are really confining us all in predetermined perceptions, our world culture is locking everyone in this cage so that there is some "order" to how mena nd women should behave. but then stime is changing, really. alot of guys out there love tomboyish girls, and vice versa. everyone loves different mixes, and i guess being "guy" or "girl" shouldn't be the adjective for personalities. being caring, helpful, loving, funny is.

moooooog35 said...

I refuse to take this quiz on the grounds that it may suggest that I get a sex-change operation.

However, since I'm going in for a vasectomy next week, maybe I can just have them do the whole shebang.

Fine...I'll take the quiz.

Erina Hart said...

What a delicious post Joanne! I am pleased to read about you tackling the social stigma attached to traditional gender roles. Sadly, these standards are still festering. It will take women like you to ensure that younger female generations understand the importance of walking their own path. We still have a long way to go.

On another note, I received a result of 20% on the quiz. No surprise :)

Cheers to the vagina! It is equal to any penis!

Erina Hart said...

By the way, thank you for the link love. I appreciate it :)

Katherine said...

I was about to post a comment saying how hypocritical I am because I find a guy less attractive if he is a "one of the girls" type, but then I thought about a certain person...

...and realized I'm definitely attracted to those that are in touch with their feminine side. You helped me learn about myself; I thank you.

Joanne said...

David: Ahaha, possibly! But “manliest man” is a social construct that depends on individual interpretation.

Jorge: Very true, gender ROLES and sex are two different things entirely.

Shabem: Sweet!

Mcgee: Thanks, I’m always wandering off on tangents, haha.

Elysa: LOLOLS!!! I think you’re probably right!

Holly: Oh, good…I’m glad I’m not the only one who disliked how it supports gender stereotypes.

HTMA: Holly, thank you!! I always love the pictures you post on your blog and the wry humor expressed.

Stealth: Hahaha! I was surprised by my percentage as well.

Bobby: I LOVE your theory. It’s why I always say it’ll be a man I fall in love with, haha. Thanks for sharing such wise insight. =)

Rinchen: Impressive, that’s awesome!

Buraot: Heh, we take the quiz because we can’t help but be curious, lols. You’re in a good range!

Conan: Well put, Conan. I’ve read that androgynous people are more adept at various situations because they can adapt to how they want to respond in the most suitable way.

Moooooog35: LOLs, so what’d you get?

Erina: HAHA, exactly. Thank you for the high compliments! =)

Kath: Oh, hahahaha, you’re very welcome ;) I have a soft spot for these guys as well.

the frogster said...

I'm 24% girly. I think I'm fairly guyish, in general- football, hamburgers, video games, etc., but I guess this quiz really asked the tough questions and helped me to learn a bit about my softer side.

OK, I need to go change my outfit.

Joanne said...

Frogster: LOLs, way to poke fun at our gender stereotypes! But either way, I find it's more attractive when a guy is comfortable enough with his feminine side. =)

Big Pumpkin said...

Good thinking, Joanne. I like your brain already.

Thanks for dropping by *smile*

Joanne said...

Big pumpkin: Hahaha, thanks!

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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