the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Thursday, August 30

The A³ of ♥'s Equation For Attraction

Never heard of it? Seems to make no sense whatsoever? And, in fact, looks more RIDICULOUS by the very minute?

Shoot. I feared as much.

Yet, I refuse to change my title because I'm having entirely way too much fun playing around with these symbols (from a friend who almost succeeded in getting me to share her MySpace addiction). A friend whom I've instead converted over to the Blogging World.

Because hot damn I am THAT persuasively passionate with my addictions.

Right. Back to my shameless use of symbols.

First, allow me to overdose you with symbols translate:

A³ ⇔ Triple A (or the 3 A's)

♥'s ⇔ Matters of the heart (specifically of yours truly)

∴ A³ of ♥'s ≈ "On the Second Rule of Courtship"

So, did I lose anyone in translation?

Or is everyone more anxious that a currently-in-college student has possibly forgotten how to count? No worries, here was my First Rule of Courtship.

Hm, I call them "rules." However, if truth be told, I live to stretch any and all rules whenever possible.

Yeah, if truth were really to be told...

When I'm not feeling a bout of lonely resentment I don't feel that the person who said "It's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all" is in any way delusional whatsoever. I strongly believe in living every experience--good, bad, and the blahs--out to the full. It's why I'm sure I still retain tunnel vision even after mending my broken heart this summer (aka I've recovered, but am not ready to completely give my heart away just yet). Having said that, I admit human complexity will make sure we are never going to be sure about anything.

Hence, I felt it prudent to make a disclaimer. Therefore, in the words of James Thurber, "There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception."

Now, on to the awkwardly titled 3 A's of My Heart equation.

So the other day I realized that I needed to cover some additional crucial points on this particular matter.

You see, my sparring partner Dan (yes, we've evolved into a whole theory in the works now) jokingly created a dating ad for me based on my 5 Signs of Serious (Physical) Attraction, 10 Non-Firsts, and recent adoration for Helmut Lotti:

"SAF seeks sweaty SM hand-model with delightful derriere, full head of hair and baritone voice for outdoor adventures."

Thanks, Dan. As usual, you are hilariously right on the money! Though after this post, I think I'll need to order an updated dating ad to include the following...

My Three A's:

  1. Accountability

  2. Adventurous

  3. Attentiveness


It's being responsible for your actions. Don't say what's not meant, and do what's been said. Hypocrisy is insincerity, laziness, and unattractiveness all rolled into one big, fat Ugly. And, not being able to trust makes a relationship feel empty, if not prone to disappointment as well.


It's having a zest for life. You don't need to go off climbing Mt. Everest, spend a month trekking across Alaska or go try jumping out of planes. If you've done that, then good for you! But adventure shouldn't be used to impress or to prove something to people other than yourself. Adventure is a journey to be enjoyed. It's having a curiosity, a thirst (as my mom likes to call it) for Life. It's also a willingness to try new things—be it an activity, food, way of thinking...or inside the bedroom.


It's not just altruism, but being appreciative. Flowers and sparklers aren't expected everyday or some other cliché. I'd like flowers to be meaningful (and you never need a reason to play with sparklers!). Surprising me with a Just Because shows you can be thoughtful and appreciate how special every day is. Small gestures—when heartfelt—can go very far. Love shouldn't be routine, but a renewal. It's not for one person, but for ALL things in connection to that person.



A x A x A = A³

Which makes A³ what again?

By this Law of Attraction...well, somebody really Attractive.

15 Musing(s):

Anonymous said...

I wish you luck, I like the three A's... although remember never to judge a book by its cover,and never judge a lover by his book. LOL. True enough that there needs to be an attraction, definetly needs to be some attentiveness, what would life be without adventure... in all forms. But its only when the three are so tightly intertwined, that when shared love transends everything.

I hope this is what you find with your triple A's.


Joanne said...

Kymerean: Well put! I know what you mean, I've been surprised at how different all the guys I've fallen for have been...but they all shared a certain combination mixed with giving me the right feeling that made it work somehow.

Anonymous said...

What I love about your three A's is that while those are things that I need from who I'm with, they're also things that I need from my friends, family, and from myself to feel good about where I am and engaged in life.

mikkers said...

yet again another thoughtful blog entry! you just brim over every time you write, jo, and it's admirable because sometimes i just struggle all day with a post before i even hit the "publish button."

i think that the three qualities you list are definitely needed, but as for me i would also appreciate loyalty, affirmation, and humor. loyalty i think is different from faithfulness, but similar to affirmation. the latter being a willingness to show his commitment through little deeds and not necessarily buying me flowers all the time.

Joanne said...

Kyla: I LOVE your comment. You've managed to convey exactly how I feel in one sentence! I totally agree--love is fluid, it should connect and reinforce all other loves, all other aspects of life.

Miki: Hahaha! Good's like friendship. As JK Rowling said, "The most important things in friendship? Tolerance and Loyalty." I think it's also akin to renewing appreciation...they all connect, you know? You should definitely flesh out your thoughts on the differences between loyalty, affirmation, and faithfulness in a full-fledged post (with some knitting pictures on the side!).

thethinker said...

I like the qualities that you listed, and I like how you included:

"But adventure shouldn't be used to impress or to prove something to people other than yourself."

Because most of the "adventurous" people I know don't really climb mountains and dive out of planes for the sake of doing those things, but to be able to show off later.

Anonymous said...

3 good A's to live by ...although I don't know how to create all the cool little symbols the way you do.

Anonymous said...

I love the 3A's. I want to go on a journey and explore the world soon or later!

Rolando said...

Hope those 3 A's work for you. If all else fails you can go back to good ole chemistry between two people and just drop the equation. :)

Peter said...

There is something heavenly about an honest soul! Never change your ways.

Anonymous said...

I just love your elaboration of the 3 A's and coming from Norway, we the Vikings has always been thirsty for life you know:-)

Btw: Here from BlogCatalog - thanks for the add!

darkspark said...


thanks for always commenting on my blogs. it really does feel wonderful to be making connections with people through the sheer power of pure thoughts. i really love your site, and i am inspired by your writings.


Joanne said...

TheThinker: I know, right! It really, really irks me.

Morgan: Haha, it’s very easy…just copy and paste the html in your post (it’s the middle column on the symbols page I linked to in my post). Preview it before you publish and see if it shows up correctly. Beware, it’s very fun to fiddle around with.

David: Why not do some exploring now? There’s so many different “worlds” to discover. And sometimes, it’s just as exciting to “re-discover” worlds. It’s like they say, there’s a time and place for everything.

Rolando: Hmm, interesting advice…I’ll be sure to wear protective goggles when the chemistry reaction combusts because I dropped a part of the equation ;)

Peter: Your words are very sweet and heartwarming. And, thanks for being my first reviewer at Blog Catalog (I hadn’t realized there was such a feature)!

RennyBA: Hahaha, we’re going to get along great! Norway is one of the countries I want to visit in Europe.

Dada: I totally agree! A meeting of minds is very intoxicating…and enriching. I love reading your posts. And, that virtual DNA widget is sooo cool, working on making mine =)

Sarcasm Abounds said...

Wonderful post. Here's to him showing up soon.


PS thanks for all the nice comments you left me, I've been very slow in responding.

Joanne said...

SA: Thanks, lols. Don't mind the slow responses....I'm the same way, haha.

Winston Churchill