the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Sunday, September 9

To Be Honest

I will drive you crazy, with all my stubbornness. Don’t think you can easily change my mind. Trust me, there will be times you won’t be able to understand me because there are days when I don’t even understand myself, too.

I will utterly confuse you, all the while understanding you more completely than before. If you look closely, you’ll see how I will overwhelm you…patiently. With unconditional support.

I will surprise you, tease you, and some days just be in plain awe of you. You are my friend and family, my equal and hero.

I will become more introverted the closer, the more...you mean to me. Be bold and refuse to let me pull away. Know I’ll do the same for you.

I will accept you for who you are. Flaws, quirks and all. Tolerance and loyalty, JK Rowling said of friendship.

I will spoil you with my attention because I want to show you how much you mean to me. Share my food, share laughter so generous heads turn…share myself.

I will love without asking for anything in return. Because that’s the only way I know how. I won't love you because I need you.

I will love you because I believe in you. I will believe in you because I know you. And, I'll know you because I will understand to appreciate you, and all you give.

I will frustrate you. Actually, you’ll frustrate me, too. We’ll frustrate each other to the point where some days I’ll be hard-pressed to even like you.

I will walk my own path, alongside yours. If you would hold my hand. It’s going to take time and effort, for me.

To be honest...it’s not going to be easy. I can’t promise you the world, but I can make your wildest dream come true.



Because I’m worth it. So are you.

33 Musing(s):

Vinh said...

To be honest... All those things don't matter because we've already accepted them to be a part of you. And you know what? We all love it :)

xtina said...

Jo,

You do drive me crazy (in the best way possible).
You somehow manage to utterly confuse me the majority of the time.
And yet after 5 years of friendship you still never cease to surprise me.

This is what I regard as the "Jo Special." One should consider himself so lucky to fall victim to such eclectic tendencies. ;)

Katherine said...

I love your honesty, Jo. After reading your post and writing a blog-entry response, I came to the same conclusion... "Because I'm worth it. So are you." It didn't even occur to me that it WAS the same conclusion until I'd posted mine and went back to look at yours. Then I realized...our ideas of friendship are so alike.

Joanne said...

Vinh: You totally rock, when you’re being nice and not making fun of me =P I can’t wait to see your 350GT, uh I mean, you…when ya come down this wknd to visit Miki!

Vy: Wow, has it been that long? Haha, of course you’d be one to call him “victim”…because you put the “ism” in unbelievably cool-ism, remember that. ;)

Kath: And, I love you how understand so effortlessly…how this was not only for my friends but for my hypothetical (lols) future love interest.

Rolando said...

That's pretty deep, who's the lucky guy :)

Joanne said...

Rolando: Haha, I don't know...? Hence the "hypothetical" tag for this post.

Anonymous said...

that is a beautiful attitude to have for a loved one. When two people take that approach it often leads to what i consider to be the most fulfilling. One where each individual involved feels safe and comfortable enough to open and honestly discuss anything. Their craziest fear, most decadent phantasy, or deepest desire. Trusting each other to be able to discuss any honest emotions and feelings without fear of abandonment is a wonderful thing. It leads to people feeling understood, and people who feel understood make excellent lovers.

I am happy for you Joanne,
you deserve to be understood.

Anonymous said...

for the record though, i am definitely jealous. i hope you still know that you will always have my support when you are following your dreams or your heart. Always.
unconditional love, cause your still family to us.
Maybe one day you'll even want that wheel well fixed. ;)

Vinh said...

psst, its an infiniti G35, not 350gt... well... it is a 350GT, in japan; thats the original badging of the car, but in the usa, it was renamed the g35, for reasons i dunno why

:)

regardless, my car rocks!

Rolando said...

Well, when you do find him and apply this hypo post, he'll be one lucky guy :)

Joanne said...

Anonymous Comment 1: Thanks. We all deserve it. Just as we give to others for our own sakes as well.

Anonymous Comment 2: Thank you. But what wheel…? Maybe it’s the late night, but I don’t think I quite understand the implications of your comment, sorry!

Vinh: Ah, well. Too late, 350GT has stuck. Just like I’ve dubbed your home gym as 1400, haha.

Rolando: Hahaha! Nice comment modification. ;)

dnordstrom said...

That's some picture you're painting of yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not skeptical. Well, perhaps a little but that's my experience speaking. And you've got this feeling in your writings, one that in this case overpowers any relevant experience I have.

I can't help wondering what has happened to you. What could possibly have made you so different from the shallow majority of people? In thirty, forty, or who knows how many years, please send me a signed copy of your biography so that I can find out.

My advice to you; be careful not to lose this pleasant self-image. It happens, seemingly fast and very ruthlessly.

jOolian said...

...hi Jo :: [&thanx fer the addy]
aghHhha haaaa, these are great, but scary, cuz i agree with allz of 'em (eerily)....and pleeze do pardon moi phO-neT-ix scribbles... juz how lil'o'me b... GREAT SITE!!! layout is smooth, ultra smooth, and brilliant observations yoo have!
glad yoo lead me here ~julian

Joanne said...

Daniel: Haha, sometimes you reply with a compliment I don’t quite know how to respond with, thank you. I like the advice you offered at the end, as I completely agree…thankfully, I have the summers to re-ground myself with my family to make sure I’m going in the direction I want and reflect (remember) the lessons of the past year. I don’t think my feelings or ideas are any different from anyone else’s. Perhaps my personal experiences are unique, but then again…so is everybody else’s. It’s why I really enjoy meeting new people, it’s always an opportunity to learn something new. And sometimes, I meet some really great friends who connect back with startlingly honest emotions of their own.

Joolian: Thanks for the message! I don’t mind all “phO-neT-ix scribbles”…it’s really fun, haha!

dnordstrom said...

I don't think other people take in their feelings and experiences the way you do. That's why I think you will live a fuller life, with more meaning, than most other people.

I think so because when I read your blog, I find that your just like me, a year ago. Seems like you're in a transitional period in your life, defining yourself.

Sort of.

Vinh said...

thats it... no more being nice!

umm...

i think of something later! my brain is still in vacation mode and sitting here at work sucks

friendly angel said...

Lot's of good responses to this one Joanne. This post is a testimony of how you are aware of what's important as well as the very real temporary disappointment people experience. With the right person (with the same realization) you will get past all the rough temporary times.

Continuously growing closer, strengthening your bonds and addressing each others fears and range of emotions. I am thinking all of these responses will either be from friends truly happy for you, individuals wanting this post directed at them specifically, and of course the previously involved who wish the the term was present and future tense.

Amen sister! sounds like you're more than ready when the right person comes along.

dnordstrom said...

Yeah, well, I've always dreamed about going to the east coast and getting myself a greencard. But LA was really, really nice, so I don't know.

Kymerean said...

Joanne,
Absolutly beautiful writing, if there is a special person to whom you are writing he should count himself a lucky man. If there isn't then there should be... I can feel the depth of your love that you want to share with another and I wish you the best when that man is found.
And I too am glad that we are friends.

Kymerean

Anna said...

Very nice post, and honest lol, that is what I like. Anna :)

Joanne said...

Daniel: I think what you meant by going through a transitional period to be right. But then again, when are we NOT defining or re-defining ourselves and our lives?

Vinh: Work has turned your ability to make witty repartees to mush, muahaha. This is what you get for giving a “Kick Me!” sign as a facebook gift. Miki gives me cupcakes and really cute teddy bears because she’s just fantastic like that, it’d do you well to learn from her. =P

Friendly Angel: What kind and insightfully thoughtful words! In the years past, I remember wondering every now and then if I was doing something wrong or if I was really unattractive because I never had boyfriend. Thankfully, I had good friends who told me it’s good I never settled for what I didn’t truly want. And maybe, it was also because back then I wasn’t ready myself for the right person to come along. While I believe we have control over our own actions, I also strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Thanks for your comment!

Kymerean: Hahaha, thanks. Your comment reminded me of how in my family we all tease my dad about how he’s such a blessed lucky man for being the only man in the family.

Anna: Thank you, Anna! I always find writing flows out faster and easier when it comes from honest emotions.

dcr said...

So, I go out of town for three days without access to the Internet, and now I feel like I missed the "BIG STORY" or something.

Nice sentiments, even if I am feeling a bit like a mushroom--stuck in the dark.

Lewis Empire said...

I'm interested to know what made you think about writing this post. It is a very motivational piece of information. Although I see that you posted this under hypothetical, it seems like someone who could write this probably practices what she preaches. Thanks.

dnordstrom said...

Well, I guess you can never entirely find yourself but somewhere, at some point, I think you're going to develop rather than define. But it's pretty much a question of interpretation. Anyhow, moving on to your next post.

Joanne said...

Dan: Hahaha! Now, I’m wondering does this “mushroom-stuck-in-the-dark” tilt sideways and wink like your “easter egg” does??!

Lewis: Well, there’s also a tag for “LESSONS LEARNED” from a past relationship I had, where I learned not only a lot about myself but also how I am in relationships for the first time. A dynamic I found interesting is how my romantic relationship with another guy will be like a close friendship…and then some more. I received an email from a past relationship this past week, he asked me a question that threw my emotional thinking a little out of whack…and thus, this post was born as a result of me re-grounding myself.

Daniel: Hm, I think it can sometimes be confusing to differentiate between those two words of “develop” vs. “define”…just like there’s often confusion between “fate” and “destiny”. I see it as continuously developing in order to define myself.

keeyit said...

To be honest, you are an interesting girl.

Joanne said...

Keeyit: Thanks, lols. =)

dnordstrom said...

Have you tried looking them up in a dictionary? Seriously, I'm not trying to be rude. (Hope you're not starting to dislike me already. ;) )

Joanne said...

Daniel: LOLs, k. So, I went to go look 'em up. I see better now why you insist on differentiating between develop and define. I think defining and developing yourself is both needed, and benefit the other. I s'pose I think it's important to be able to define one's development, if that makes sense. I love your questions, thanks =)

Susan Suarez said...

The song from Sheryl Crow "Strong Enough" pops in my head when I read this post. It's one of my favorites from her.

StHalcyon said...

Nice. I see both elements of freedom and yearning together. Hmm.. Wonder who you were thinking of when you mused that.

Joanne said...

Susan: I've never heard the song before, but I googled the lyrics...sounds like it's a good song! I'll try to get my hands on it so I can hear it.

John: I'm glad you picked up on the elements because it's something I think I'll always have to confront in any relationship. The catalyst was the past. Sort of just took what I learned about myself and how I am in relationships...in close friendship. Then, it somehow morphed into a tribute to my good friends, a future love, and myself.

Michael Joyce said...

hey...
just wanted to stop by and tell you that I greatly enjoyed your blog. i will be back by time-and-time again.
if you get a free moment, i have a blog posting that you might enjoy reading.

peace and many blessings
Michael Joyce

http://chencenter.wordpress.com/2008/02/28/just-a-thought-2-respect-for-religion/


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