The Unsuspecting Disciple

Yup, that'd be...ME.

So get this. Apparently, I was officially accepted by Xin Yun Fa Shi (aka lead monk of a now fairly large Buddhist sect following in Taiwan) when I was about 5 years old.

When we lived in ATL, my grandfather had ordered my parents to visit Xin Yun Fa Shi (this was before he was really well-known) in LA and become his disciples...so, off they filially went. I guess it's sort of like being baptized?

My mom pointed him (uhh, my head monk?! I totally need to work on this proper names thing) out to me over Thanksgiving break on TV (we get satellite Chinese channels). He's so plumply cute, with twinkling eyes, freckled sunspots on his face, Buddha ears, a kind smile, and a calm voice--everything you could possibly imagine one's Head Monk ought to be like.

Also apparently, Mr. XYFS Head Monk told my mom I had "Hui Gen," which directly translates into "Wise Roots" and is roughly equivalent to having the potential to develop wisdom or something along those lines.

...yes, ME at 5 years old.

I think it had something to do with my ear shape? Or maybe the deeply intense look in my eyes as I solemnly...so evidently wisely looked up to him.

Which I find ridiculously hilarious, oddly flattering, and slightly unnerving. I wonder if he were to meet his long-lost, unsuspecting, possible black sheep disciple again, what would he say?

"How could you put holes in those ears?!"

0:) Oh, boy.

Whoever is keeping tabs

...kindly forewarn me next time. Thanks.

She says I’m going to fall in love next year. I wonder, how can she be so sure?

Well, I guess that’s beside the point. Deep down, I know that whoever that next person in my life is…I will fall irrevocably in love with him.

Melodramatic much? Probably.

But I know myself well enough to recognize a pattern in my own behavior by now. There’s no denying I’m nearing the third year of my crush/crushed-recovery cycle. I recognize the root of my current restlessness.

Predictable in the most unpredictable way. Every time I toe the line, testing the water just to see how far I can go. Only to fall a little deeper each time.

Too bad I can’t choose my love life like my contact-lenses prescriptions. They don’t say hindsight is 20/20 for nothing. A couple years back, I purposely started choosing to have less than 20/20 vision because I felt having perfect eyesight artificially only made it get worse each year.

Except being able to see clearly is like being able to think straight. Totally irrelevant, totally mental…and totally out of my control.

Deep down, I’m scared I’m not ready.

As if this were something a person could be "ready" for, check off today's to-do list.

The thought of finding the one? Shit, makes a girl wanna run off to Canada. Which, by the way, is exactly what I’m planning to do anyhow. ;)

Okay, okay. Playful joking seriousness aside, it’s true... I can’t wait for it to happen anyhow. It seems like I’ve always been waiting. So, it’s hard for me to fathom, is there really someone out there who cannot resist me?

You have to understand, I’m not just restless as I begin to re-open my eyes to different possibilities. I can be downright reckless. I say, no more. No more unconsciously seeking out unrequited, one-sided, supposedly “safe” love!

Hey, I figure that if there’s a chance I might get hurt, then I better damn well make sure it’s worth my time.

Secretly, the thought makes me smile in eager anticipation.

...I'm either a hopeless romantic or just flat-out hopelessly naive in romance, still. I may be an easy person to be with, but I can’t possibly be an easy person to love (family and friends don’t count here!). I swear, there must be something intimidating about me to other guys in that arena. Honestly, I’m curious to find out what kind of person would accept such a challenge.

Er well, with the exception of moms.

Jeez, recently I’ve come across some really bold moms eager for me to become part of their family. And I thought this sort of chase-down only happened to rakish, wildly eligible but confirmed bachelors…in those old-school regency romances?!

Uhh, let's not explore the implications of that analogy.

Truly, I thought perhaps the yoga mom over the summer trying to sell her son to me so that I can bear her grandchildren (yeeah, I know...it caused me a minor internal freak-out moment, too) was just a one-time fluke. Cute, but weird.

But this past week, I had dinner with a longtime friend and his aunt, who by the end of the night was not-so-subtly trying to set us up. Ironically, he’s turning 28, which is the age I jokingly claimed is the time guys matured in an unsuccessful attempt to gently decline the yoga mom’s aggressive advances...

Seems like I ought to watch what I joke about now, huh?

I call BULLSH*T

Damn right we're concerned that election results didn't make the front-page of our student-run newspaper. In fact, it didn't get mentioned AT ALL. Even the following weeks since Nov. 4th.

Then, there was yesterday's excuse-making and illogical justifications under the article titled: "Reasoning behind NObama on CT's post-election coverage."

NOBama? EXCUSE ME?

Whoever gave the green-light on that one...@#%&!!

No offense to Jim Webb, Tim Kaine, and Mark Warner, but I really wasn't all that excited to see your faces adorning the front-page that Wednesday morning. They're trying to tell us that the senatorial race was more important than the national election to students. That oh, sorry...we don't have photographers in Chicago to take up-to-date pictures of Obama or McCain. That the CT shouldn't have to compete with major national newspapers. That EVERYONE already knew the election results. That such an historical election wasn't worth a single word in print on Wednesday, Nov. 5th, 2008?

Ohh, yeah. Bullshit.

In my final year at Tech, I have NEVER seen my campus react this way to an election before. Virginia went BLUE. And it's Virginia!

People here had hangovers from election night festivities. University bus schedules had been arranged to shuttle people to the polls. Students were wearing their Obama-Biden or McCain-Palin buttons and t-shirts around campus. There were sidewalk chalk everywhere reminding people to go vote that day.

Not relevant to students? Puh-lease.

And then, refusing to apologize when this clearly violates the Principles of Community framed in every single room in all the academic classrooms? When you've admitted that there's been a huge influx of mail from dissatisfied students? A big no-no.

Other people think we can't take this very far or change much of anything...

Well, some people also believed we couldn't get electricity.

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P.S. My students did get power for our One Night Without A Home on the Drillfield, I'm so proud!!! Not to mention we totally wowed our skeptical program supervisor. But for the record, I am NEVER sleeping outside again...guess who's losing her voice? =(

In Defense of an AV system

Ooooh, this woman makes my teeth grind:

"While I know why you want to have a band play, I find it interesting that you want to do this while you are supposed to be experiencing what it’s like to be homeless."

Coming from the person overseeing this program? Yeah, thank you for missing the point entirely.

Call me crazy, but I don't believe much benefit is going to come from my students (I'm a facilitator for a group of Social Justice leadership students) only being "homeless" for just one night.

Plus, the purpose of this engaging leadership program is NOT simply "doing" the service, granted that is an important part of the experience. The overall goal is for students to proactively take the initiative on an issue--that's where the bulk of the learning process is going to come from.

Their true objectives are:

1. Promoting awareness about homelessness in the community/campus
2. Raising $,$$$ to donate to the local nonprofit
3. Getting canned food donations

I mean, seriously now. Who's gonna come watch a bunch college students sleep out all night? What are those people going to take away from it besides, "Oh, they're pretending to be homeless...haha and whoop-dee-doo." Perhaps the more important issue is what does experiencing homelessness actually do for the 400 people applying for assistance from our local nonprofit who had to get turned away on the second day? Tell me that.

Besides the only reason they are going to be camping out on the Drillfield from 7 PM to 7 AM on a Friday night is because people are pledging a dollar for every hour they're "homeless." You know, sort of like Relay For Life held annually in the spring at my university. Bands attract attention (not to mention they are donating their time to a good cause) and sponsors help get the community involved.

Because when the speaker from the nonprofit, the bands, the friends stopping by for moral support, and food from sponsors are all gone by midnight (perhaps even earlier)...it'll just be a group of 17 college students all by themselves in freezing 20-30 degree weather. For the entire night.

Try that for a learning experience.

So tomorrow? Damned if I don't finagle my way into getting my students their AV system.

Yay for HOME!

Hip-hip-hooray! Times a gazillion!

It's perfect because my classes tomorrow happened to get canceled (b/c you know, I always feel so guilty for skipping...that silly freshman "Oo, I'm so rebelliously grown-up" naivety of yesteryear is not worth sabotaging my professors' impression of me (aka I want to keep that recommendation letter positive).

In prep for going home, I bought my sister a set of those ridiculously over-priced multicolored PILOT gel pens that she adores and one of my favorite books (Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver) with a short note on the inside cover from me.

Can you believe the university bookstore had the paperback for only $11? Which is a great deal for such an awesome book, especially in comparison to those friggin' pens.

Of course, my mom is going to scold me for spending money on my kid sis yet again. But jeez, I can't help it! It's one of the 3 areas in my life where I refuse to scrimp on (the other 2 include eating good food and saving up to go all-out on a good vacation).

So yeah, I know I tend to spoil the people in my life whom I love. Although, I can probably argue quite convincingly that it was money well spent as educational supplies.

And uhh, these new sunglasses? Hm.

For health protection purposes... obviously.

Because I should

I should do laundry, really. Ideally.

So, I'm going to hold this thought long enough for it to get realized. Which is totally why you're reading this super-exciting blog post of a girl who's on her last pair (actually it's this really cute black boyshorts, so technically not even).

There are so many thoughts running through my mind, including worrying about all the various papers and presentations due next week, that for some reason all I can focus on tonight is that I really ought to put in the laundry.

Silly, huh?

Perhaps once I get that laundry done, I'll be able to try writing about what's really irking me.