the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Wednesday, July 25

On The First Rule of Courtship

[Second Rule of Courtship: here]
"You don't sit down and write a wish list about the person you are going to fall violently in love with. It just doesn't work like that. " - Stephen Fry
I've decided. It’s quite simple, really.

And no, I am NOT writing on this subject with the inane idea that some dream guy (especially since I’ve no idea what one'd look like, my fantasy guy is usually this dark blur...) will for some reason read my blog and then proceed to ask me out (which'd be slightly weird). Ha! Though it’d make for a rather interesting Korean drama story line, I'll admit...

No, I’m selfishly writing this for myself, from what I’ve learned about relationships, especially this past year. About what attracts me and would keep me attracted.

See, I am confident in possessing a fair amount of practical good sense, which means I ought to admit to being very naïve at times.
Okay, most times.
True, I am this idealistic optimist and hopeless romantic. I don’t learn until I personally experience it...and after I inevitably encounter a tough lesson, I do become a more realistic of an optimist, but still entertain the same hopelessly romantic notions! It’s like how when parents explicitly tell their curiously rebellious child NOT to play with fire matches behind the family's incense urn. You don’t learn to be careful until after you’ve been burned several strands of singed hair, resulting in the most mortifying bowl cut. Ever. And then! Even after learning your lesson, you continue to play with fire...but are just a whole lot smarter about it (and tie hair back). Or find acceptable substitutes, like sparklers!!!!

Whoops! I’m digressing from the whole point of this post. It’s just that adore sparklers! You know, if a guy gave me sparklers, I’d be just as delighted as if he’d given me flowers, probably even more. But shhh! I'd want the flowers, too.

Right, back to the point.
Basically, I'm writing this to get to know myself better. Since I have quite a lot to say (and really, when have I ever not?), I’ll run them by one post at a time.

Because if love were a game of monopoly, then you'd also be paying me rent for even stopping by my doorstep.

But, you also shouldn’t have a beer belly, okay? Not paying basic attention to your physical self is a flag for me. If you can’t treat yourself right, why the hell should I expect you to be able to treat me right? How you love yourself speaks volumes not only about you as person, but also how you might love me as well. If you don't care enough about things like good eating habits or staying healthy, then I'd be more prone to assume that you're likely to be lazy in other physical acts... catch my drift?

On a different but related side note, beauty is also highly subjective for me. Yes, Pierce Brosnan is a sexy son of a gun (and makes the teen part of my heart fall into a heap of sighs), but that sort of attraction is fun for its utter superficiality, you know? Pierce Brosnan is occasional eye-candy. Eye-candies get rotated. And so you see, I've been feeling mighty partial to James Franco these days. ;)

For me, physical attraction means you also send this certain tingle to my heart or exhilarate my mind in ways that serve to magnify my body's response. And such a tingle can only come from knowing a person. Knowing and respecting him. Sounds cheesy, but being sexy is all about how a guy wears it.
And, it’s not something you can just put on and expect to work miracles if it's not who you are. It’s whether you have any substance to back it up. Whether or not you can make that sexiness work in ways that are decidedly you. Why else is emotionally-invested sex so much more rewarding than the casual hook-up? I mean, I'll be honest here, I've never had a one-night stand (or even a one-time kiss for that matter), so maybe I'll like the random hook-up...but I highly doubt it, and do think it'd be an utter waste of time to try to prove something I already know is right.

Anyhow. It's a major turn-off when a guy depends on how he looks physically or thinks it should make up for what ever else he's lacking. I don't date gigolos. Plus, if a guy decides to act like a twit, I don’t give a shit how many girls think he’s oh-so handsome (that’s their problem). In my books, being inconsiderate, vain, weak-willed, insecure, dishonest and/or a hypocrite means he's lacking as a man (not mention as a decent human being as well)...and I'd think he's an asshole.

And, assholes are unanimously Ugly.
Don't believe me?
Check this one out. Actually, I dislike this one more.

3 Musing(s):


Hey, I hope you find your Mr Lucky Laidback Buddhist. =)

Joanne said...

Chessnoid: LOLs! Thanks, me too!

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