the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Sunday, September 23

I Should Join The Circus

Since my life is pretty much a constant Juggling Act.

There's never a perfect balance, and I'm in perpetual pursuit of achieving that balance. Then again, I know that if I were to ever to find a point of “perfect” balance, I’d simply muss it all up by tossing some impulsive tangent into the mix because too perfect is…well, too boring.

Now, logically, you’d think that experience would've made me better at all this juggling...

Only when has life ever been logical?

So, I’m starting to think my life is actually closer to a Rotational Act.

In which I focus on several things while putting others on the backburner. Then the next year, I’ll switch things up a little and devote more attention to what’s been lacking.

Now, again logically-speaking, you’d think that this whole rotational thing I’ve got going on is pretty darn clever, right?

But to be honest here, when am I ever logical?!

See, with an inherent tendency to procrastinate (because obviously I’m too good at this skill for it NOT to be natural) some things tend to get repeatedly left out until they’re just beggin’ for some love.

And, this year that thing is—hands down—my social life.

Okay, I haven’t turned into a hermit or disappeared. Although many people would beg to differ. But compared to previous years where I’ve progressively stretched myself thinner with more and more seemingly endless social engagements, this year I’ve finally put socializing on the backburner.

Because it’s quality and not quantity.

Which I always knew, but didn’t know (as I previously warned, I’m not always logical).

There’s only so many hours in a day I can spare and only one of me. Last year was an incredible year for me on multiple levels: I learned, crashed…got burned, and met some truly beautiful people. See, I’ve always had this whole “If I missed you, then I will make time to see you...and right this minute!” sort of mentality reserved for my friends.

Maybe it’s the calming effects of yoga or perhaps I’m just on a different rotation and don’t realize it yet, but that mentality has definitely changed.

Now I go with the flow more than ever before. And that flow has resulted in 2-3 hours of intense one-on-one’s with friends I might see only once every two weeks. Therefore, it’s almost a month into school, and believe it or not, I’ve STILL got friends I need to catch up with.

And if I haven't caught up with a friend yet, that doesn't imply the friendship doesn't mean as much...

Today, I finally had delicious 2-hr soy lattes with a really good friend (former boss and life-long DC&G'ers*). She was disappointed that I heard news of her engagement before she got to tell me in person, but this afternoon, she got to tell me even better news. It was wonderful to see her againus INFJs talked about everything yet still had everything else left to talk about!!!

Sometimes, I feel this love for my friends that just bursts off into these fiery colors, the sort of colors that makes high-definition seem like old-school Technicolor.

Sometimes, I wonder how is it that I see the unstoppable whirlwind of changes in my friends’ lives but then for my own…my first thought is of a turtle torn between ducking behind her trusty tortoise shell and toying with the temptation of upgrading her "wheels" to turbo-charge.

And as much I trust my intuition, sometimes I question…

...is it really possible to know what (or who) is undeniably right for you in that first instant?
_____________________________________________________
*DC&G = dedicated lovers to organic dark chocolate and frozen grapes, preferably accompanied by some random French film.

16 Musing(s):

Kevin said...

who needs friends when you have a computer in front of you? lol. kidding of course.

another question is... when do u reach that point where you feel like you shouldn't bother to say hello or catch up anymore with someone? It's just... pointless!? gotta love my pessimistic twists :-)

-kevin

Joanne said...

Kevin: No, I don’t think how I treat anyone is pointless. I do, however, find it pointless to hold grudges and extremely rude to purposefully snub someone. Saying a hi or smiling at someone is something I’d do to random strangers…so why not at least as much for friends and passing acquaintances? Sometimes (okay oftentimes) my schedule makes it really hard to “catch up” with all my friends when we’re all pretty busy. But it’s not how often I see a person that provides the basis for my friendships, it’s that person’s relationship with me.

xtina said...

Oh... You have no idea how much I enjoyed that mental image of the turtle.

I suddenly feel very privileged and honored by the way you've managed to squeeze me into your tight schedule. I can only imagine how hard it must be at times. =P

Joanne said...

Vy: LOLs! “=P” yourself! Now, I’ve a taste of how Jogika feels…

Spiff said...

Procrastinat, I know that word pretty well ... LOL!

Interesting blog. Will drop by more often.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I tell ya, sometimes it's just nice being as old as dirt. No juggling. No running around. No scheduling events. I can relax in the morning and enjoy my coffee. After that, it's all down hill working with convicts.

Johnny Ong said...

agree with u that its the quality of life that we shld look into

Joanne said...

Spiff: Thanks, yeah…in fact, I probably know this word too well, lols.

JR: I’ve thought about that, but I’ve experienced so many different kinds of busy’s (e.g. summer vacation with family is relaxing but busy in a completely different way) that I think that I’ll always be juggling something…even into retirement, ha.

Johnny: Thx.

Little Eichmann said...

kind of a metaphor but here goes...
i notice sometimes I'll be driving in my car with the heat on (in the cold weather, obviously) and I'll start to feel comfortable so I ask myself "what is this non-feeling, i'm neither warm nor cold, I'm at a perfect degree" and i either turn up the heat or turn it down, just so i can feel the difference...

raqqash said...

Good questions you ask. I think I am sick with the same illness as you, lots of friends I can't seem to keep up with.
But well, it is good that you know you could spend some more time with them, I am sure you will find out what to do. Better, you already know. It is quality that matters, not quantity ;-)
And as to the right thing..My master used to tell me "there are no wrong paths. Just do, and don't complain about it. Accept the good and bad things that come out from everything you do". So the best I can do is pass on this to you.
I can only tell you it makes sense ;-) Don't want to spoil you the fun of finding out on your own.
My best greetings

dnordstrom said...

If you're bored with your perfect balance, then it's not really perfect, is it?

conan_cat said...

oh yeah, certainly agree! :D i used to be a social butterfly too some time during my secondary school days, but then i find quantity is really not as good as quality! :D i now only have a small number of close friends, and i put in quite some time to keep them close, because i believe that having more close friends is much better than knowing more people. :) these people do care to share your joy and pain, while the others are only interested in your joy and laugh at your pain because you're just simply not close enough to let them feel you :)

Joanne said...

Little Eichmann: Hahaha, interesting. That reminds me of when I try to “naturally” regulate my breathing when I’m just sitting. Which is impossible because once I start paying attention to my breathing, it becomes unnatural and controlled, haha.

Raqqash: I like that, thanks. Hahaha, even knowing that…I still keep questioning the how’s and why’s of it all. Which master was this for…TaeKwonDo?

Daniel: Yeah, I never understood people who liked to drone on about being bored. It’s a choice, there’s always something you can do and there’s benefit in not doing some things.

Conan: I still meet a lot of people and still make new friends, but choose who comes close carefully…time tells these things anyhow!

Rolando said...

Time is so precious yet we have so little of it. There aren't enough hours in the day, but you're right, when it comes down to it quality not quantity.

The more quality time you have, the longer the relationship will last. I wish I had more quality time with acquaintances that had the potential to be friends.

Joanne said...

Rolando: How is it that you understand so well? That's the thing I struggled (still do) with the most...all the potential I see in people to be a really good friend. Everything takes time, and as we all know...there's never enough of that.

Anonymous said...

there's a great free resource at www.INFJ.com


IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH HELL, KEEP GOING.
Winston Churchill