Updated
I'm almost done revamping the site.
Quite proud of the minor changes so far. And, I renamed (yet again) the blog to Laidback Buddhist--I promise I'll settle on one, um...eventually. Taking it all step by step, ha!
Interesting side note,
A certain annonymous commentator left some comments (for this post) pretending to be the guy I'm currently working out my old, unhealthy feelings for, the guy I'm trying to move on from. I know, life can be *so* RANDOM.
But that's not what struck me as interesting... Instead it surprised me was how it protective and immediately defensive I got of him. It was like, yeah I'll sometimes call him an asshole when I think he's acting like one (because I know he actually ISN'T one), but don't ever let me hear you call him that!
Even to myself, I feel a tad ridiculous, huh? Ah, well. I'm just like that, fiercely loyal to my friends.
Plus, a lot of my relationships (both female and male) are indeed, very complex, but I've found that it's the good and the bad that bring the friendship closer. Nobody's perfect. Haha, and most times my closest friends don't understand how I can be good friends with certain people (like him), but I just shrug and say, "My friendship is with that person, and our friendship is not with you." There are some things that can't be explained to a third person...and sometimes, I don't see the need to or perhaps, want to.
And, you'd be surprised, while many of my friends seem completely uncompatible on the surface, I think a lot of them have much more in common than they initially thought. It's whether you're willing to see it. Or, have someone else see that part of you. As Confucius said, "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."
But, I'll eventually devote a post to explaining the basis of our friendship to the complex ambiguities of our...non-relationship of a relationship. I haven't yet because I don't want to touch that until I'm ready...when I'm sure diving into exploring those feelings of the past won't make me want to go back to it, you know?
Time to sleep. I took a 5-hour medical exam today and boy, am I WIPED.
6 Musing(s):
i was wrong to post the comments. i inadvertantly pretended to be your friend, i am a little bit of a wingnut and really believed you were someone i was going thru the same things with. i can assure you though you will not have to address anymore side notes. for the record, from your blogs anyone who is lucky enough for you to consider a friend is very blessed, and the the anatomy description was in reference to myself. i am sorry for jumping in on your blog and put up this last comment to apologize.
Hiya Joanne:
A five hour medical. Are you ok?
anonymous: Accepted. But of course, I don’t claim to be the only one nursing a broken heart. Your first comment confused me and your subsequent ones implied me doing something I try never to do--I say what I think and always mean what I say. That’s all. If it relates to matters of the heart, then we probably are going through similar things. =)
barbara: I took the MCATS (which is a standardized entrance exam for med school), thanks for your concern *aw* I didn't realize until afterwards that "medical exam" can also mean "medical check-up." Whoops!
i thought it was wrong for me to apologize anonymously. I am sorry if my previous comments hit a nerve because i assumed you were someone that i am currently going through similar transitions with. more than similar, almost identical to the point it is spooky. because your blog i came across randomly. and then barbara also commenting, i viewed her blog and found again, many similarities in regard to recent occurrences in my life. I am a little bit strange under normal circumstances. the seemingly random coincidences magnified my weirdness. you are an excellent writer joanne, and i am glad i stumbled across your blog even though you are not the person i was hoping to tract down.
Haha, it's quite alright. Thank you, though. And, I'm glad you haven't stayed away. It's healing to share when there's someone who can empthasize. Good luck to you~
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