the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Tuesday, October 23

When The End Marks The Beginning

Never say never.

When human unpredictability can change everything in an instant, using words of such inflexibility can set the stage for inevitable disappointment. In many ways, I fear it. I think to myself, hey there may only be one path I walk, but it’s my own and who’s to say where it’ll lead?

I like my options. I like knowing I have ‘em.

I asked myself why I always hesitated when generalizing something as absolute, especially when I struggle with a decision. I’m often unable to use finalistic words without feeling the urge to tag it in quotes. It’s the same reason why I left the term “best friends” in the elementary school room. I have close friends and very good friends, but I only have one “best” friend, my kid sis.

Whoops! There I go again, tagging things in quotations. Creature of habit.

I asked this question not really wanting to hear the answer. I asked hoping that was enough to satisfy (but whom? my own self?)…except acknowledgement doesn’t even come close to an honest answer.

And, surely, we deserve all the honesty we can get in a world often obscured with delusional illusions.

I once wrote, “Ultimatums are pointless—I see them as superficial and overtly ambitious in attempting to convert all the complex dynamics between two people into 'option one, option two' kind of thing.”

While I still strongly believe in those words, I also know of the gratifying pleasure in stripping complexities down to bold statements.

So, I ask myself...what changed?

Ironically, since I realized my hesitation in using words with implications of complete finality, I’ve gradually become MORE comfortable with it.

Perhaps it’s a driving need to prove that I do know what I want, why I think this way, how I make decisions and to define with clearer insight…who I am.


Here’s the latest batch:

Always cover your bases. Always double-check.

This got me a rare compliment of approval from one of my bosses.

Never be afraid to ask questions.

This saved my ass at Judicial last week.

Never assume.

Damn all you shady attorneys!

14 Musing(s):

dcr said...

Never assume plus... Never trust attorneys, politicians, etc. Just remember The X-Files and Trust No One! ;-)

Joanne said...

Dan: Haha, actually I've never watched those shows. Although on the subject of trusting politicians...whenever I hear Barack Obama speak, I fall a little more in love, hah.

Magari said...

Some say today's truth is tomorrow's fallacy.

I never understood how some could become so upset by the words of another, it seemed like the person becoming upset was just giving the speaker power over them.

The only thing I do know is that whatever facts I adhere to today wont be able to apply themselves forever.

Eventually every truth we know changes.

Attach to nothing.

Stealth said...

Never assume is a good one! You will not believe how hard it is NOT to assume. We make assumptions all of the time. They have become so ingrained that it's hard to even recognize when we do it.

What helps is when you become the victim of an assumption. Something changes when you know what it feels like to have someone assume the worst about you that makes you stop and think before you do it to someone else.

Suzie said...

life is uncertain eat your desert first.... hey it has always worked for me.

Jennifer said...

I am firm believer that all endings are new beginnings.

meleah rebeccah said...

I abuse quotation marks...and the term best friend.

cooper said...

"hesitation in using words with implications of complete finality"

This I understand.

Never assume is hard to learn because it seems almost everything is based on assupmptions.

Joanne said...

Magari: Hahaha, I never know how I’ll react to certain situations. Sometimes, it’s so easy to shrug off other times I get all worked up (but once I vent, it’s let go). I think I get the most worked up for other people, especially people I care for or those unfairly taken advantage of.

Stealth: Yeah, never assume is one of those things that needs constant reminding (usually when I’ve just made the mistake of assuming something, lols). It ‘s the same way I do not judge because those are generally based on assumptions as well. It’s like the saying goes…assuming makes an ass out of you AND me.

Suzie: Haha, yup! I get that from my mom, we always like to eat our desserts before dinner...the logic is that the earlier in the day you eat your sweets, the more time your body has to digest and work it off!!!!

Jennifer: Exactly my sentiment. Any and everything has the possibility and more importantly, the potential to be a new opportunity.

Meleah: I abuse a lot of things, just take a look at my list of running addictions on the left sidebar, haha. =)

Cooper: True, if we were to really dig deep at it…most everything is based on conceived notions, but I suppose that’s only natural as beings with higher cognitive thinking ability, lols.

Sarcasm Abounds said...

Never give up, Never surrender!!

I think I got that from Galaxy Quest, but it's as good a mantra to live by as any other. . . :)


Anonymous said...

It's the nature of the buddhist to avoid absolutes! It's extremist, unhealthy and can only lead to suffering ... usually.
Presumably this should go double for Laid Back ones.
Why rely on absolutes when the world will simply change the rules again when you're not looking?


Joanne said...

SA: Haha yeah, it's a good hopeful mantra to have. Although, it'd make me feel like I'm constantly prepping for battle if I were to chant it everyday, ha.

Zarquon: lols, presumably...then again, when Buddhists strive for the ultimate purity, that's sort of extremist as well. ;) So, I suppose my form of laid-back-ness, is not avoiding absolute at all costs (which can be argued to be absolute as well), but simply going with the flow...if it leads to something absolute at times, well then, so be it! =)

black_mamba said...


i love what you said about ultimatums, very insightful......

i saw your links BTW, thank you so much for adding me. i'll be editing my page in the next few days (kinda slow with that sort of stuff) and i'll be sure to include you. thanks again :-)

Joanne said...

Black Mamba: Thank you! =) Lessons learned from experience...

Winston Churchill