the laid.back Buddhist has MOVED...back!

Tuesday, October 2

20 Amusing Google Keyword Searches

Of all the many, many things I'm addicted to...

I'm also guilty of being a chronic site stats checker. So every once in a while, I'll check out my Google Analytics to see what sort of searches have induced people oh-so lucky folks to stumble upon the The Laidback Buddhist.

Here are my Top 20 Favorites:

  1. Oprah Winfrey a Buddhist?

    Not that I know of, but if it counts for anything, I’m a Buddhist (albeit a failed one) and I absolutely ADORE Oprah!

  2. Enjoy spoon position

    That I do. Very much. Words for the wise, guys who think cuddling is not important will have an Extremely Unhappy lady by their side...or not one at all.

  3. I want to date a buddhist

    Is there a preference for any kind in particular? I mean, I know of a laidback one and she's pretty cool and er, laidback...despite developing a list of Courtship Rules. ;)

  4. how to be laid back

    Just go with the flow, follow your heart, and don't think about it so much.

  5. meaning of shady character

    Open to interpretation but here's one I encountered.

  6. my hair looks like bird nest

    Ahh, yes. The Infamous Bird Nest. My dad's all-time favorite nickname for my bed head.

  7. procrastination buddhism

    Now, this is my kind of language.

  8. super high resolution buddhist

    For some reason, that sounds kinda hot.

  9. too laid back?


  10. why people are laid back

    I think the better question is, why aren't more people laid back?

  11. drunk chinese girls

    Wrong site, fella.

  12. lazy buddhist

    Glad to know I'm not the only one who believes such a phenomenon exists.

  13. how to coax out a splinter

    Try cursing it instead.

  14. self-haircut tips

    Use thinning scissors, practice when hair is long, and split the haircutting over two days. Don't overcut, sometimes hair just needs time to grow into the cut.

  15. what girls think of asian guys

    You won't believe how many google search hits I got along this line of thinking. Let's set the record straight: girls do like asian guys, okay? You're really cute and for the most part, pretty sweet. You're like any other guy, but you're also your own person. The most important thing is what you think of yourself...why should anyone like you if you don't like yourself?!

  16. why you should date an asian guy

    Finally! Someone google-searching with a positive attitude...uh, right?

  17. Buddhist widget

    Muahaha. I really like the way this person thinks.

  18. my hair isn't growing

    I'm sorry. On the upside, you're not being highway robbed.

  19. John Mayer's hands

    ...are uh-mazing. That's all you need to know.

  20. what makes you a buddhist?

    My Chinese culture, my appreciation for Eastern philosophy, and my mother's family fortune teller.

You people crack me up!

27 Musing(s):

dcr said...

Choices, choices. Which of these terms should I use to link to you? :-)

Stealth said...

I hope I am never so unfortunate to have a partner who wants to spoon/snuggle when I am ready to go to sleep. I am happy to do it all day and all night - before and after the love. But when it's time to sleep - I seriously cannot spoon.

Joanne said...

Dan: Oh dear god…

Stealth: LOL, actually I agree with that. Spoon-sleeping makes me too anxious that the other person is uncomfortable to fall asleep. I don’t sleep very well with someone next to me, hah.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I have not heard the term spooning in some time, funny!
So that's why the wife thinks I'm dumb :-)

Joanne said...

Speedcat Hollydale: LOLs, actually I hadn't heard of spooning until my sophomore year of college, hah. And I didn't really understand all the craze about it until last year...jeez, I feel like such a late bloomer.

BillyWarhol said...

mmmmmmmmmm Spooning mmmmmmmm



interesting Google Analytics - i've never used that b4*

this one is wayyyyy Fun

+ a Widget i put up i love is that shows U people from all over the World arriving at yer Blog + how they got there*

Cheers Joanne! Billy ;))


mikkers said...

i am really concerned that someone is google the phrase "john mayer's hands." I mean...why would you do that?

I can see someone discussing john mayer's hands, but actually looking of hands? discussion on hands? is this a fetish?

david said...

I tried #16 and I got a family guy eps of "asian girls think everything small is cute".. Is ranked #1 in the search engine too.

Joanne said...

Billy: Very cool widget there and whoa, that Banana Slug site is pretty neat!

Miki: HAHA, I don’t think it’s a fetish for me per se, just something that I happened to notice and really like (physically) about John Mayer…I think I like his wicked sense of humor MUCH more, heh.

David: LOLs, I don’t watch family guy, but that is funny!

thethinker said...

I love looking at what people search for to get to my blog too. It can be kind of disturbing at times.

Joanne said...

TheThinker: Oh jeez, yeah...but mostly it's just amusing. Though, I gotta admit, people google for some pretty interesting things out there!

Shelia said...

People do Google for a lot of interesting things, myself included. I like to look at Feedburner, because they too show the exact search that people used to get to your blog. Since my blog is so tennis specific, the strings are not as much fun, but interesting nonetheless.

Ancient Clown said...


It's funny, but one of the reasons I started a blog was because someone had written "Calling ancient clown" as one of their posts and I happen to find it when looking for something else. That inspired me to GOOGLE my name, which in turn, with the urging of some kids, inspired me to start my own blog. (which is now the top search on most all of the search engines, when you put in my name).
I get mine from shinystat, but here's the top ten.
1. wire trees
2. ancient leaders
3. great ancient brotherhood of silence
4. history of shoes
5. history of the water bottle
6. religion and human clown
7. tortoise and the hair
8. dali christ
9. heal the world from inside out
10.ancient history god

Joanne said...

Sheila: Yeah, I have so many different trackers running on my site, it’s so OCD sometimes. But if something’s useful and amusing, I’m not about to get rid of it anytime soon! ;)

Ancient Clown: Thanks for sharing your list. My favorite is "heal the world from inside out"...and lols, "history of water bottle" gets me thinking about all the commonplace things in our world today that have a "history" we often don't think about or realize.

Terence Chang said...

Very interesting list. I should also list the search keywords for my site.

Great blog! Subscribed!

Joanne said...

Terence: Oooh, you should...I think it can be amusing regardless of what kind of site you have. Yay, aw thank you! =)

Chuck said...

That's really funny. I've had some bizarre searches lead to my site...

Joanne said...

Chuck: Hah, yeah...and I think the searches will just get more bizarre the older my site becomes! =)

jon said...

Some of the things that drive traffic to my site scare the hell out of me. "Fat Corey Haim" for instance.

jon said...

P.S. Can't wait til you make the switch to self hosted WP site. ;)

Joanne said...

Jon: LOLs, I never would've have guessed THAT particular funny!!! Yeah, I have a webhost, a domain, and I fiddled around with wp a couple of weeks's like my memes, coming along slowly, haha. I've also been searching for the most suitable layout which I can slightly tweak/personalize to fit my needs =)

meleah rebeccah said...

this was pretty damned funny.

coyotemike said...

Somehow, I keep getting search-results that have to do with inverted nipples.

It is very very very weird, mostly because I don't think I've ever written about inverted nipples.

Erina Hart said...

Lol. Mike from Ordinary Folk has some of these up, too. I have no idea how to find these things. He gave me some clues.

I like number eighteen. Too bad for the guy (or girl) that searched it.

Joanne said...

Meleah Rebeccah: Yeah, it's such a good source of amusement that it keeps my site stats addiction...fueld, haha.

Mike: HAHA, oh wow. That is pretty funny. I wonder what page they're led to...

Erina: Hm, I'm guessing the hair is just growing real slowly that it seems like it's not growing at all. Well, if you run into any trouble checking the stats for your site, just shoot me a line! =)

zesty said...

These are generally very pleasant. People look for gross stuff sometimes when they find my site by mistake. =\

Joanne said...

Zesty: Haha, awww well it happens. A lot of people find my site by accident. Especially since it's just a personal blog so it's usually never what they're looking for, haha.

Winston Churchill