Thrill of the Ride

It’s really scary, this thing…this wonderful feeling, which they call love.

They tell me that it’s not that scary when it happens. That it’s a relief, such a beautiful gift to receive when you meet the person who will totally accept you, in every aspect and with every respect. Unabashedly.

It’s not that I don’t agree or that I don’t see what they mean.

I do, perhaps too well. Which can be a problem.

I liken it to the first time I went rock-climbing back in May and discovered what it meant “to repel.” Snugly strapped into my harness and slower than a snail, I inched backwards at the top of a cliff overlooking the Potomac River in Washington, DC. They’re telling me that I’m secure. That I just need to trust myself and keep going until the rope catches the extra slack.

Well, I could see that quite clearly…

However, it was the whole getting to THAT point which sent the panicked butterflies in my stomach crashing into mass disarray. Which made me hesitate. You see, until that point of security, I’m just hanging out there—suspended in midair without any support whatsoever—over this cliff with 75 feet of open air between my back and the ground way, way down below. Trying to squeeze in some breath between my jangled nerves, I’m babbling like an idiot until I finally feel rope catch me.

But once I know that I am almost secure, I’m already more than ready to let go. In fact, I can’t flippin’ wait to let go, to feel unstoppable as I rush down towards the earth.

In other words, I’m like Spiderman but with the hot sensation of rope-burn stinging my right palm.

So it’s not that I’m afraid. Even though I often admit to fear falling in love. It’s not that I don’t understand. Even though I remain continually amazed by how generously my friends accept me and all my impulsive weirdness in its entirety. It’s that I tire of all the continual tenseness I tend to make myself feel. Though it could just be because it’s roughly 4:30 AM in the morning and even after a long night, this insominac suddenly felt the need to release her jumbled thoughts before crashing into deep, dreamless sleep.

Either way I’m here—

Precariously hanging out over this cliff, I know I'll ride out the thrill over and over again until I find someone willing to completely let go with me.

Someone to take a jump with me...as we dive, tangled together, into the never-ending Abyss of our Unknown.

Tippin' Generously

Giving is good...but sharing is even better!

I got tagged the other day by Christy's Blogging Tips Meme: the idea is to copy the list, star your favorite ones (I picked my top 5 favorites), add your own tip at the very end, and then pass it on.

*1. Look, read, and learn.
2. Be, EXCELLENT to each other.
3. Don’t let money change ya!
4. Always reply to your comments.
*5. Blog about what you know & love.
6. Don’t use filthy language-buy a dictionary.
7. Blog about something educational.
8. Be yourself; others will follow.
9. Don’t have too many blogs that will become a chore to maintain.
10. Keep it simple, user-friendly, interesting and organized!
11. Keep the blog simple and sweet!!!
12. Share with others your thoughts and don’t be shy!
13. Never ask for link exchange. Blog hop to increase traffic.
14. Don’t clutter your blog with ads all over the place. IT’S IRRITATING.
15. Don’t comment for the sake of commenting. Some looked too fake and its a big turn off!
16. Share something interesting and you will gain more readers.
17. Show that we care to all bloggers, treat each other as friends.
18. Pictures say a million words. Keep them coming!
*19. Blogging should be fun or you’ll get tired of it pretty soon.
20. Don’t think people will come to your blog if you’re not willing to pay a visit to them.
21. Everyone loves read short posting and best, illustrated with a picture.
*22. Try not to publish more than 5 posts in one blog a day. Even if it’s from feed reader, it’s quite hard to digest and catch up reading everything.
23. Blog: the other window to peek into people’s life, minus the trouble. Keep a certain level of privacy to yourself.
24. Never tell your readers that you are going on vacation. That’s basically telling them to not visit your blog for a week. Instead, write several posts, and take advantage of the timestamp feature.
25. Try and write with people in mind that are "somewhat similar to you". Allow your audience to identify with your blog and feel "at home".
*26. The key to a good article is a good introduction. A joke, a question or a picture does wonders.
27. If you are looking to earn an income blogging read StevePavlina.com and Problogger.net, you will be amazed at what you can learn.

28. Write for yourself first. Remember that it takes time, effort, patience...and above all, daring. [The Laidback Buddhist]

I want to see some blogging tips from:

Bobbarama; he in all his bobbarama-ness glory makes me laugh
Dan; he spars with me while dodging questions ;)
Morgan; she always shares some great insight about her life
Chris C; he tickles my funny bone like no other
Skipper; she possesses an attitude that kicks major butt
Lewis Empire; he makes me uber-proud to be a part of his empire
Richard; he takes awesome scenic pix and is also my go-to person for climbing tips
Jon; he encourages my freaky widget lust
Chris Bloczynski; he already offers me a lot of blogging tips from his posts
Ben; she, yes, SHE (I have a boyish first name as well) is taking belly-dancing classes and that makes her my hero

Now, get to it!

Highway Robbery

When people rip you off, that’s what you should exclaim, very loudly and with self-assured conviction. Preferably in Chinese and accompanied with a wagging finger.*

Because it really is akin to highway robbery for a girl to get a haircut these days. Well, minus the dark, handsome, and masked (of course it’s only because he’s too damn good-looking) highway hero who'd help me battle the blood-suckers trying to get some...of my hard-earned money, that is.

Not trying to imply chivalry's dead or that I can't solve my own problems...

But what’s a gal to do in this day and age of modernity?

1. Never get another haircut. Hm, not too fond of being Rapunzel for every day thereafter. And to think of all the shampoo, conditioner, water and excess energy (since I like my showers hot) I’d be wasting…global warming, people!


2. Have my mother cut my hair. No, no, and hell no. As much as I love her, my mom should never be allowed scissors around my hair, or anyone else's for that matter. Many a scarring childhood photos can confirm this.


3. Donate to Locks of Love. Except this is not a feasible long-term solution as it takes my hair 5 months for it to grow a measly 2 inches. Plus, I’d still need to get trims/layers done in between.


4. Shave it all off. Ha! Not in a million years, not for a million bucks.


5. Cut my own hair… Bingo.
   

Although, I know you're probably thinking it's a pretty crazy idea.

Um, in case you didn't already know, any person who creates her own religion and dubs it Laidback Buddhism is not exactly sane.

Then again, who is? Because apparently I'm not the only one doing it!

But back to the whole highway robbery thing.

The last time I paid someone to cut my hair was over 4 years ago. It became a memory (as TheThinker has eloquently coined, and justly so, as Bad Hair Month) that I've filed away with the rest of my traumatic high school experiences.

I don't know how much a perm costs... but my mom and younger sister wait until we go back to Asia to get it done because it's cheaper (er, once you take the $2,000 plane ticket per person out of the equation). But I do know that it would only cost my dad only $12 ($15 max) to get his hair cut whereas mine would be charged at $28 to simply trim 1" of hair. And oh, if I wished to dye my hair as well? There goes at least another $60. Mind you, this was the price I remembered four years ago.

If that ain't considered highway robbery, I don't know what is.

This is one of those times where I'm eternally grateful to have naturally curly hair, even though it probably comes from a mutant gene (but I prefer thinking it's from the 1/4 Mongolian part of me). See, I can do random snips, create "flexible" layers, and even mess up because my curls will hide any boo-boo's I make.

Sooo, what happens when I straighten my hair?

Well, apparently it's thin enough that it doesn't matter. All that matters is having a length I'm comfortable with. So as long as my bottom layer is even and my bangs are fine, I'm good to go.

Bad news is that it's been 5 months since my last self-haircut and self-hairdye and the thinning scissors are at home. The henna dye is also at home.

I think perhaps a trip home is in order, ya think?

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*What, you didn't know?! Well, that's how things work in my family...

Where The Quality Schtuff (Dsktp Wallpaper) At

I'm a sucker for aesthetically pleasing colors.

Example: if I found an article of clothing I really liked, I'd probably buy it in at least one other color as well. So while I've yet to give Dan my thoughts on his super-secret new test eCommerce site...as a woman, I sure hope it's got pretty colors! ;)

But I'm digressing (not to mention trying to score some hits, er...I mean, improve my blog with a sparring partner).

Anyhow, when Jon tagged me with the Desktop Meme (which I immediately completed as I've been notoriously procrastinating his Celeb Crushes one), I had several people asking me in the comments where I found the wallpaper called Colored Windows. Well, I prefer getting my desktop wallpapers from this site with free high-resolution wallpaper for all screen sizes called InterfaceLIFT.

I should take a moment to thank Vy for introducing me to this site when I had to get a new laptop last Spring because I temporarily plugged in my Ethernet cord across the middle of my bed and across the short gap to my desk...

(that idea sounds as bad as it was)

...so yeah.

My 4 yrs-old lightweight VAIO fell from my desk to the tiled floor, would only work in safe mode where the screen was an amusing-only-for-the-first-5-seconds 2" x 3" rectangle and (confirmed by Vinh when he extracted my hard-drive) pretty much kaputt!

Good news was that I got a laptop with a wider screen and lots of other neat-o abilities (amazing the difference 4 years will do to technology!) and promptly went hi-res wallpaper crazy for awhile.

So, join the frenzy. Spread it.

I Should Join The Circus

Since my life is pretty much a constant Juggling Act.

There's never a perfect balance, and I'm in perpetual pursuit of achieving that balance. Then again, I know that if I were to ever to find a point of “perfect” balance, I’d simply muss it all up by tossing some impulsive tangent into the mix because too perfect is…well, too boring.

Now, logically, you’d think that experience would've made me better at all this juggling...

Only when has life ever been logical?

So, I’m starting to think my life is actually closer to a Rotational Act.

In which I focus on several things while putting others on the backburner. Then the next year, I’ll switch things up a little and devote more attention to what’s been lacking.

Now, again logically-speaking, you’d think that this whole rotational thing I’ve got going on is pretty darn clever, right?

But to be honest here, when am I ever logical?!

See, with an inherent tendency to procrastinate (because obviously I’m too good at this skill for it NOT to be natural) some things tend to get repeatedly left out until they’re just beggin’ for some love.

And, this year that thing is—hands down—my social life.

Okay, I haven’t turned into a hermit or disappeared. Although many people would beg to differ. But compared to previous years where I’ve progressively stretched myself thinner with more and more seemingly endless social engagements, this year I’ve finally put socializing on the backburner.

Because it’s quality and not quantity.

Which I always knew, but didn’t know (as I previously warned, I’m not always logical).

There’s only so many hours in a day I can spare and only one of me. Last year was an incredible year for me on multiple levels: I learned, crashed…got burned, and met some truly beautiful people. See, I’ve always had this whole “If I missed you, then I will make time to see you...and right this minute!” sort of mentality reserved for my friends.

Maybe it’s the calming effects of yoga or perhaps I’m just on a different rotation and don’t realize it yet, but that mentality has definitely changed.

Now I go with the flow more than ever before. And that flow has resulted in 2-3 hours of intense one-on-one’s with friends I might see only once every two weeks. Therefore, it’s almost a month into school, and believe it or not, I’ve STILL got friends I need to catch up with.

And if I haven't caught up with a friend yet, that doesn't imply the friendship doesn't mean as much...

Today, I finally had delicious 2-hr soy lattes with a really good friend (former boss and life-long DC&G'ers*). She was disappointed that I heard news of her engagement before she got to tell me in person, but this afternoon, she got to tell me even better news. It was wonderful to see her again—us INFJs talked about everything yet still had everything else left to talk about!!!

Sometimes, I feel this love for my friends that just bursts off into these fiery colors, the sort of colors that makes high-definition seem like old-school Technicolor.

Sometimes, I wonder how is it that I see the unstoppable whirlwind of changes in my friends’ lives but then for my own…my first thought is of a turtle torn between ducking behind her trusty tortoise shell and toying with the temptation of upgrading her "wheels" to turbo-charge.

And as much I trust my intuition, sometimes I question…

...is it really possible to know what (or who) is undeniably right for you in that first instant?
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*DC&G = dedicated lovers to organic dark chocolate and frozen grapes, preferably accompanied by some random French film.

To Breathe Again

Learning yoga is like learning to breathe. Literally.

"Ideas in the mind should be material for thought, not merely ideas, just as muscles are useful means of action, not mere lumps of flesh."
- Patanjali's Raja Yoga

...just as the yoga positions are to help you breathe better in everyday life, and not merely to complement the breathing aspect of yoga.

It's a concept that took a while for me to fully appreciate.

When I first started out doing yoga, I was all caught up in getting the positions right and focused solely on coaxing my body into a deeper stretch--the thought that breathing could help me do it better never crossed my mind! I took the breathing process for granted, and the "in, out" cues from my yoga teachers were generally completely ignored.

See, I had yet to realize that there is something really very calming and breathtakingly...beautiful to feel your body move in sync with your breathing cycle.

To have all that energy, all that focus on just one thing only. Your mind on your body.

It's like meditation in motion.